Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
