when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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