So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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