Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
