He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He better not be in your backpack
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
