Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
