she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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