do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
BRING THE BAGELS
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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