Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
