Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
