Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
