I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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