There is no way he is gay with that hair.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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