i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
