hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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