I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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