Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
