You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
