so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
