so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
