i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
