yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
