Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
