It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
