yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
