I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
