she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
