theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
