If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
