i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
