This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
