I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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