meet me or not, i'm out of control
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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