how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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