Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize