So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
