Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
