i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
