i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I need to sanitize my soul.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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