Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
