wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize