it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
