Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
