I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I think my nap took me to another dimension
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
