even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I can't put those talents on a resume
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
