if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize