You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
