in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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