i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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