Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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