whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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