My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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