Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
