THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
