Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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