Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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