fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
