She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
