Will you blow on my dice?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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