Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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