I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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