just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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