ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
